These last two months have been two of the blah-iest months that I can recall. The weather has been cold and miserable and, for most of these last two months, one or more of the people living in this house has had a cold (or the flu) and has been miserable (or miserable to be around). I’m often tempted to forbid the Hubster from leaving the house and bringing germs home, and I’m often tempted to never take the Bear to the daycare at the gym (when I can work out between plagues, that is), and to never go anywhere again not ever, ever again because ferfucksake…I’m tired of everyone being sick around here.
But yes…it’s almost over, and yes…I’m almost ready to come out of hibernation. I’m heartened by the fact that it was over forty degrees outside today, I’m less heartened by the fact that I still have a cold and every time I look out the window I am only able to appreciate the sunshine for 1.6 seconds before my eyes are drawn to the monkey-ball littered, dog poop-ridden, slush hole of a yard that I’m going to have to find the stomach to start cleaning up. Le sigh…
And…though things are going well otherwise, I’m one hell of a crabby bottoms.
Despite that, I really want to start blogging again, but I’m not digging this blog anymore. For one thing, I suspect people that I know in real life may have been reading this (Hi people I may know!). This is a problem for me on many levels, because it makes me much less honest and much less willing to discuss sensitive topics that I would otherwise love to rant and rave about.
I loved my old blog, but have slowly been removing entries in my spare (ha!) time. A few months ago, during one of my routine paranoid fits of googling all variations of my name, I discovered a link to my old blog. This was problematic. As an attorney, I don’t want potential clients, current clients, opposing counsel, judges, or jurors reading about my angst, circa 2002-2008. For another, I’ve been rereading these entries and holy hell are they massively disturbing. Massively. Disturbing. Let’s not forget Horribly Embarrassing (especially the early years). They are also, in some instances, strangely dishonest. I’m not sure who I was pretending to be, but there is a huge disconnect for me between the person I was then and the person I am now and…well…it’s better that those entries come down.
I am saving them for myself to look back on in the coming decades. Perhaps they’ll help me understand my children when they are in their twenties. Hopefully they won’t make me as heartbreakingly sad as my hand-written journals from 2000-2002. I’ve yet to get through a single one of those entries without breaking down. I can’t believe I let myself get to the place I was then. I can’t fathom letting anyone treat me so poorly and not standing up for myself. But that’s another story for another day.
So, right. Blogging. Not sure if I’m going to stay here or move on, but I’d really like to write more, I like the idea of writing on a public space, and since I’m so hesitant to write here, maybe I’ll start a fresh blog someplace.
One thing I loved about my old blog was the completely and utterly dull, navel-gazing nature of it. So many entries went something like, “Yesterday I worked on X at day job and then waited on a bunch of tools at the restaurant and then I went home and ate Y and watched Z and today I’m taking the day off to do this and that.” I like this because, looking back, I remember all sorts of things that I forgot about, and I want to continue to look back and remember. True, these entries cannot possibly be interesting to anyone other than me, but I’m ok with this.
So, in the spirit of blogging and navel-gazing and narcissism, here is What I Did Today:
The Bear slept in until 6:45 today, so I had the chance to loll in bed while the Hubster was in the shower and then nag him to shave his beard while he dressed for work since it’s March and it’s practically spring. Right? He declined. Rats.
Bear woke up and I went through the usual morning diaper change and bottle feeding. Yes, I still give the Bear a bottle. We tried switching him to a sippy cup for his milk after his first birthday and he was not having it. I must selfishly admit that I’m fine with him using a bottle for now because I’m not ready to give up that cuddle time with him yet. Barrett is now drinking unsweetened soy milk. I mention this because Bear’s diet is a sensitive issue. As a vegetarian with aspirations of veganism, I’m used to people feeling that it is appropriate to comment upon or question my diet. I was not prepared, however, for how often people question what I feed my child.
Here’s what. I feel that I’m pretty well read and well informed in matters of diet and nutrition. I have looked at the pro- and anti-soy research, and I have looked at the pro- and anti-cow’s milk research. I am confident that soy is the right choice for my son. I am confident that cow’s milk is not. I’m amazed by how many people, people that have done little to no reading into the issue, feel the need to give advice or an opinion on this one area of Bear’s diet. I realize that this is just the tip of the iceberg and that unsolicited parenting advice relating to just about everything will often come my way, but here’s what. I’m not going to give my child anything that is deleterious to his health. I’ve done the reading. Uninformed, unsolicited opinions are unwelcome. I’m having a hard time remaining polite about this one.
Anywho, Bear had his bottle and we watched Timmy Time (I know, I know, Disney is the devil, but Timmy Time rocks). Then, after a few minutes of Handy Manny, I was ravenous and needed to use the bathroom, so I took the squalling Bear into the kitchen with me to brew coffee, use the bathroom, and make our morning pot of oats.
Another side note, I’ve been making our oatmeal using the method described here. These fluffy, banana-ey oats are fan-friggin-tastic. I’m in love with them, Bear is in love with them, and I can hardly wait to crawl out of bed in the morning to eat these. I top Bear’s oats with almond, peanut, or sunflower seed butter and spreadable fruit, and I top mine with the same but I’ll add some crunchies, usually dry roasted peanuts and Trader Joe’s berry granola. Barrett drinks diluted fruit juice, I sip black coffee, we listen to music, and we enjoy our oats together. Our mornings are fantastic.
Though the two of us are still feeling a little under the weather, Barrett entertained himself contentedly in baby jail (our dining room, minus furniture, plus one giant baby gate paddock, filled with toys, books, and puzzles) while I washed the dishes and put away laundry. No, I cannot believe how domestic my life has become. When Barrett tired of playing on his own and I tired of racing around the house, we cuddled on the couch and coughed and sniffled and read books and watched daytime television. At around 10:30, Barrett had some more milk and went down for his nap. And I? Well, I did the same.
The kiddo woke up at one and we sat down for lunch. Barrett ate green patties (mashed beans, barley, spinach puree, and seasoned breadcrumbs) and sweet potato latkes with juice. I had a tortilla with PB&J because I had zero motivation to make anything with any nutritional value.
After lunch, we played and read some more books, waited for the cable guy to come and fix the internet, then headed out to run some errands. After I exchanged a scarf for a sweater and two pairs of sunglasses (how much did that scarf cost anyway?), donated some old clothes, and stopped at the grocery store for diapers and wipes (yeah, the cloth diapers didn’t make it past Barrett’s first birthday…those things just couldn’t pick up what he’s puttin’ down), we headed home to tend to the dogs and make dinner.
When the Hubster finally joined us I made a pizza with red peppers, sweet onions, and Trader Joe’s Soy Chorizo and spinach, romaine, and cucumber salads. Over dinner we talked about our days while we ate (Barrett had tofu and brown rice balls, green patties, and steamed carrots), then I went to chill with Barrett while the Hubster cleaned the kitchen. Finally, I kissed everyone goodbye and headed up to the office to get some work done. While I started researching for and writing yet another motion, I could hear the Hubster playing the guitar and singing to Bear before he took Bear upstairs and gave him a bath (singing the Sesame Street rubber ducky song) and then put him to bed.
This is just a usual day. A whole lot of time with my son, a little bit of time working, and a whole hell of a lot of happiness. I feel pretty damn lucky.
0 comments:
Post a Comment